Pot Luck Lackey

Q: About once a month the employees in our office eat a "buffet" lunch in our boardroom, each person bringing a covered dish of their choice. One particular person 'forgets' or makes an excuse each time as to why he didn't bring a dish; however he visits the buffet table often and piles his place with 'some of everything'. How can we politely tell this person that it offends almost every one in the office when he 'takes' so much food and runs to his desk to eat several times throughout the day?

A: This is a tough one. Missing once or even twice is excusable, but to do this on a monthly basis is unconscionable, and he must obviously be aware of what he is doing. Because of this, there is no way to tell him that he is misbehaving without his being aware that he is being, in a sense, reprimanded. One approach is to have someone take him aside and tell him that his behavior is the talk of the office and that it can do his career no good. No doubt this is true, promotions hang on small things, as these small things are indicators of the person within. Finding a person to do this might not be easy and the job would ultimately be a thankless one.

Alternatively, you might have someone go around with a sign-up sheet in the days before the event and have each person specify the dish they are to bring. Specify, at that time, that everyone is being relied upon for their contribution, and that this is an event REQUIRING a dish to pass. If he declines at that time or forgets and then takes food anyway, he might be chided by the first person who notices, or even asked, in a polite manner, "Say, what did you bring? I have heard that you make a terrific potato salad." You might find out at this time that the reason he does not bring a dish is that he feels himself culinarilly challenged (a new handicap?). You can then tell him that it would not be taken amiss if he stopped by the deli before work and picked out a nice salad or stack of chicken wings.

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